MARCH 2014- UNTITLED TILL THEN
I have learnt something over an incident that happened a month back.
Words without action are pointless (bullshit even). I shall not describe in detail on what had happened. I lose a friend whom I always regard as a true pal. Fate brought us together beginning with colleagues.
There’s this chinese phrase; “谈钱伤感情”. Apparently, it’s true.
As long as I could remember, I have a superb memory since young. Sad to say that this fact cannot be even used as evidence unless there’s an invention which can read memories of human beings…
The slow replies and sometimes no-reply already show it all and yet I was too blind to see. Many told me to give up but NO, I didn’t even at the very last day (19 Feb 2014) because I thought I’ve known her well. Very well I would say. We just clicked when we first met.
When I did not even receive a single concern texts or a phone call after a week (a timeline I gave for her and myself), I know I have bang my head (heart) hard on the wall right in front of me. It’s heart-breaking, saddening.
Does she really know I was waiting for her sms to show some concern? She said she was worried in one of her texts before she’s gone and chose to leave first. So many questions I wished I’ve the chance to ask; have you ever worried? Worried about me instead of that fucking money? So where have you been? Why didn’t you bother to text me? Are you having financial difficulty? Do you need my help? So many so many so many questions just run through my brain.
Being a month since this incident and I know that losing her is indeed disappointing but it actually taught me how to feel whether she regards you as her best pal in life.
I do lost a friend but she has just lost a true pal (maybe not for her).
I hope you can really have a few true pals in life. Treasure your friends around you and don’t just take each of them for granted.
This whole incident shall be erased from my mind and I will only remember those good times we had. The end.